better

well, yesterday went better than expected. quiet a few people turned up! which was suprising!
the reality of having to go back to uni is setting in now. scarred and not sure if i even want to go back. i find out on the 27th if ive passed or not so hopefully i have.

then at least i have somemore options open to me.
if not i think am just gonna run away

Birthday!

well, birthdays.... there just shit arent they.
Friday came and went. had some well meaning birthday messages. But i do feel abit unloved. coming up home i thought would be fun for my birthday but ive just really sat about for a couple of days waiting to hear back from people. which is a bit depressing really.

its my birthday bbq today, family is all coming but as for friends well... there are the important ones but its still got this feeling of people really not wanting to attend or being that bothered that am home.

its quiet upsetting really. hopefully my southern birthdayparty with the uni lot will be a bigger sucess.

hopefully i should hear that people are actually coming in the next hour or so.. its only 3 hours till my party is meant to begin like.

will write again soon

lu
x

birthdays are shit

todays installment

so, i'm managing to update this a little more frequently than previous. Things this week seem to be looking up. Feel a bit brighter.
Very much to do with the fact my parents made a suprise visit this week and landed just as i was feeling my worst and was ill.

mammy hugs make u feel much much better thats all i can say. Been really nice just having them around. we havnt done too much, mostly because am still very unsteady on my feet. But even just having them hanging around at my house, pottering around watching tv, reading, etc is sooo good. was nice to just out for a coffee & showed them the bridge. To be honest i dont care what we do its just nice to have them here. especially since its my dad's birthday next week and mine in 2.

xx

lyrics

You've applied the pressure
To have me crystalised
And you've got the faith
That I could bring paradise

I'll forgive and forget
Before I'm paralyzed
Do I have to keep up the pace
To keep you satisfied

Things have gotten closer to the sun
And I've done things in small doses
So don't think that I'm pushing you away
When you're the one that I've kept closest

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

You don't move slow
Taking steps in my directions
The sound resounds, echo
Does it lessen your affection
No

You say I'm foolish
For pushing this aside
But burn down our home
I won't leave alive

Glaciers have melted to the sea
I wish the tide would take me over
I've been down on my knees
And you just keep on getting closer

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

Placid as I melt into the sea
(Things have gotten closer to the sun)
I wish the tide would take me over
(And I've done things in small doses)
I've been down onto my knees
(So don't think that I'm pushing you away)
And you just keep on getting closer
(When you're the one that I've kept closest)

Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow

so its been a while..

just realise its been 8months since i last did this.
so out of a routine, its been a bit of a roller coaster of a "year". Had some high and some lows.
I just feel the need to write again. . . .

its hard writing how u feel, i remember saying in my first ever post i didnt know how i felt about the world knowing my thoughts and feeling on daily stuff. I think the idea seemed liberating then... i dont know so much now. i feel more exposed.

Yet at the same time i feel like this is where i can really say what i think or feel. even though it is exposing and does make me feel vulnerable.

but do i have anything to say?

i dont know

Well everyones getting one of these................ and so should i?

Its almost 4am on a saturday, no sunday morning. Im bored, cold and hungry..... after many hours on facebook being a stalker to new and old, i feel its time for a change of scene if only for a wee while.

everyone is getting one of these stupid blog things.. am not quite sure how i feel about putting my private thoughts/feelings/and work idea out there to the world. But i thought id give it a try.
Might be like cheap therpy for the illiterate.

who ever you may be, if you do deside to "follow me" down the the garden path of my mind you will soon discover that i cannot spell and i am also too lazy to correct my terrible spelling and typos.

and that seldom do i make much scene.

i talk/type as the words come out of my head soo oftern i am jumbled and i oftern put my foot right in it.
Im also faaaaaaaaaaar to lazy to proof read soo.

im bored of this already

peace out!

lu
x