Sunday, 26 September 2010

knit knit knit

sooo, had another month of ups and downs.. THANKFULLY everything seems to be returning to a decent level of normal!
Back to uni on monday, nervous as hell! soo scarred that am not going to be able to keep up with the work load! and also be able to pull my work up to a high standard.

Got a wedding to attend on the 30th! wooo! excited to see 2 of my beautiful friends finally tie the knot! and hopefully im going to be able to attend.. looking forward to going home for a quick weekend, but not looking forward to the 14hours travel each way yuk!

Regardless, ill get to see my mam and family!
Been attempting to making a scarf in the hope i may be able to make some xmas pressies for a bit cheaper than i could buy the for. Not looing forward to having no money for xmas, but hopefully one f the hundred of soo part time jobs ive applied for will have me! means i can afford to fly home for xmas not bus it and also buy something nice for my poor mam who has to put up with me hehehe

anyway im off to finish knitting. just over half away with this scarf! its looking pretty good even if i do say so myself! just want it done now so i can wear it out and test it he he.


Monday, 23 August 2010


well, yesterday went better than expected. quiet a few people turned up! which was suprising!
the reality of having to go back to uni is setting in now. scarred and not sure if i even want to go back. i find out on the 27th if ive passed or not so hopefully i have.

then at least i have somemore options open to me.
if not i think am just gonna run away

Sunday, 22 August 2010


well, birthdays.... there just shit arent they.
Friday came and went. had some well meaning birthday messages. But i do feel abit unloved. coming up home i thought would be fun for my birthday but ive just really sat about for a couple of days waiting to hear back from people. which is a bit depressing really.

its my birthday bbq today, family is all coming but as for friends well... there are the important ones but its still got this feeling of people really not wanting to attend or being that bothered that am home.

its quiet upsetting really. hopefully my southern birthdayparty with the uni lot will be a bigger sucess.

hopefully i should hear that people are actually coming in the next hour or so.. its only 3 hours till my party is meant to begin like.

will write again soon


Wednesday, 18 August 2010

birthdays are shit

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

todays installment

so, i'm managing to update this a little more frequently than previous. Things this week seem to be looking up. Feel a bit brighter.
Very much to do with the fact my parents made a suprise visit this week and landed just as i was feeling my worst and was ill.

mammy hugs make u feel much much better thats all i can say. Been really nice just having them around. we havnt done too much, mostly because am still very unsteady on my feet. But even just having them hanging around at my house, pottering around watching tv, reading, etc is sooo good. was nice to just out for a coffee & showed them the bridge. To be honest i dont care what we do its just nice to have them here. especially since its my dad's birthday next week and mine in 2.


Monday, 26 July 2010


You've applied the pressure
To have me crystalised
And you've got the faith
That I could bring paradise

I'll forgive and forget
Before I'm paralyzed
Do I have to keep up the pace
To keep you satisfied

Things have gotten closer to the sun
And I've done things in small doses
So don't think that I'm pushing you away
When you're the one that I've kept closest

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

You don't move slow
Taking steps in my directions
The sound resounds, echo
Does it lessen your affection

You say I'm foolish
For pushing this aside
But burn down our home
I won't leave alive

Glaciers have melted to the sea
I wish the tide would take me over
I've been down on my knees
And you just keep on getting closer

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

Placid as I melt into the sea
(Things have gotten closer to the sun)
I wish the tide would take me over
(And I've done things in small doses)
I've been down onto my knees
(So don't think that I'm pushing you away)
And you just keep on getting closer
(When you're the one that I've kept closest)

Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow

Sunday, 25 July 2010

so its been a while..

just realise its been 8months since i last did this.
so out of a routine, its been a bit of a roller coaster of a "year". Had some high and some lows.
I just feel the need to write again. . . .

its hard writing how u feel, i remember saying in my first ever post i didnt know how i felt about the world knowing my thoughts and feeling on daily stuff. I think the idea seemed liberating then... i dont know so much now. i feel more exposed.

Yet at the same time i feel like this is where i can really say what i think or feel. even though it is exposing and does make me feel vulnerable.

but do i have anything to say?

i dont know